Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
Re-evaluating
I am so done. I am so done with 20 year olds acting like they're 13. I'm so done with having the same conversation at every meal with people that I've known for a year. I'm done with fake smiles, forced conversation, awkward silences, and spending time with people because I feel like I have to.
I'm sorry. Normally my blog is positive and happy but not today. Actually, you know what? I'm not sorry! I've always been told not to burn my bridges but maybe some of them should be burned-- those to places and people that I never want to go back to. People who cannot have a conversation without talking about smoking, drinking, etc. are not people who I want in my life.
Alright, rant over.
But in all seriousness, I think it's about time that I meet new people. Don't get me wrong. There are a few people that I love with my whole heart. Mel& Z are my everything. And there are other's who are pretty up there as well. But on the flip side, I feel as though life is being dragged out of me based on some of the people who I feel like I have to hang out with. It's no longer out of desire. It's out of habit. And I'm done.
They say you're the sum of the 5 people with whom you spend the most time. Which makes sense. But only if those 5 people have aspects of themselves that you aspire to see reflected in your own life. I need people who want to learn for learning sake. People like Alissa who travel halfway around the globe to change the world. People like Dylan who is living for life's sake and not trying to impress anyone. People who are actively looking to grow and who's conversations mold you into a better and more interesting person.
I used to be a firecracker. I used to make people feel alive by my constant energy and wonder and desire to do more. To be more. Now, I feel like that spark has died down significantly and is now hidden in fake smiles and forced friendliness. As a whole, I love people. But specifically, in my life, I need a break and a re-do.
I'm sorry. Normally my blog is positive and happy but not today. Actually, you know what? I'm not sorry! I've always been told not to burn my bridges but maybe some of them should be burned-- those to places and people that I never want to go back to. People who cannot have a conversation without talking about smoking, drinking, etc. are not people who I want in my life.
Alright, rant over.
But in all seriousness, I think it's about time that I meet new people. Don't get me wrong. There are a few people that I love with my whole heart. Mel& Z are my everything. And there are other's who are pretty up there as well. But on the flip side, I feel as though life is being dragged out of me based on some of the people who I feel like I have to hang out with. It's no longer out of desire. It's out of habit. And I'm done.
They say you're the sum of the 5 people with whom you spend the most time. Which makes sense. But only if those 5 people have aspects of themselves that you aspire to see reflected in your own life. I need people who want to learn for learning sake. People like Alissa who travel halfway around the globe to change the world. People like Dylan who is living for life's sake and not trying to impress anyone. People who are actively looking to grow and who's conversations mold you into a better and more interesting person.
I used to be a firecracker. I used to make people feel alive by my constant energy and wonder and desire to do more. To be more. Now, I feel like that spark has died down significantly and is now hidden in fake smiles and forced friendliness. As a whole, I love people. But specifically, in my life, I need a break and a re-do.
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